Finally I'm posting. Been away for quite a long time. Was busy with some stuff and didn't get the chance to post. But now I'm not. I'm trying to put myself back to blogging world cause its been since I post, so yeah. To summarise up what has happened when I'm away is basically what usually happen in daily life. Mostly it was about how I understand and know more deepest secrets with boyfriend. He has been great and I believe we can last till the end. Hahahahaha. I'm just thankful that I got him back. Without him, I don't know what's the future like. But with him by my side, everything will be alright.

I thought when I said I never fall back in love with him, I was wrong. There's something that keeps me coming back to him. I don't know what is that but I know I won't repeat my mistake again. All those was stupid mistakes, but its the stupid mistakes that make me reflect on life and decide to be with boyfriend. Hahahahaha. I just hope nothing's can come between us. Cause I know there won't. I just want us to be happy with eachother and trust is what i need the most. So yeah. Boyfriend <3

Since 27012010 ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((:

I know that we haven't seen the worst of it but when we do, i promise you we're sticking out together.

Will be back after everything is all settle. Sorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. <3

Im starting to miss you. Your smile, your hugs, your kisses, your eyes. Where are you now? I know you will not care for whatever shit I say here but I want you to know that its hard to forget you and the wonderful memories we had. I know you won't come back to me. I just wish things were different dude. If I have one wish to change everything in my life, it would be the mistake I made and the way I treated you. This won't happen if you control yourself. And it wont happen if you never change your status. Everything won't happen if we were faithful to each other. Now, its all memories for you and me to keep. No more us anymore. Its sad that we're done before we even started. I said I won't regret coz I want you to know I'm strong enough to move on. But, I guess that was all lies.

I always wonder where you are, with who you're with and so on. I wish you miss me too. why must this thing always happen to me when I never wish for it to happen. Life is unfair, never gave me a chance to speak up for myself. Always me who pick up the pieces. I can't complain now coz its already been said and done. No use for me to ask you to come back coz I know you don't want me anymore. You know why I kept blogging about you? Because I don't wanna miss you and I don't wanna move on just yet. I know second chances won't come in easy. Is not wrong for me to dream of having one right? Haha, silly me.

In 3 more days, school gonna start. I don't know how am I suppose to act infront of you. Coz when I see your face, I see our moments together. Its really hard to forget you. WHY?! Izzit me of don't want to let it go or you're just so hard to forget? IWISHEDTHINGWEREDIFFERENT. Oh god, please give me the strength to move on and lead a better life. I won't want to continue on like this coz it seems that I miss you everyday and can't let it go. Oh god, please let him know that I'll love him forever. Oh god, let us be like how we use to be, its not gonna be healthy being like this. Oh god, answer my prayers, :/

Time past by so fast. Next week is the starting of school. Homeworks have yet to be completed. Bedroom have yet to be clean up. Ergh, gonna get myself together and clean my room after that homeworks! From next week onwards, it will be a new start for me. I need to study hard, be good, move on, no sleeping in class, stay focus, no dreaming, work hard, save money, hand in work on time, no not doing homework and lastly, no falling in love. Just be friends this time round coz love hurts. Been hurt twice and I dont wish to make it happen again.

Moving on is something you cant do alone. You need support from your peers, your love ones. But, you also need to help yourself, true? I know I've been weak this few days and kept having negative thoughts everyday, cry everynight. But, I just cant take it. I have to cry it all out coz I know I cant forget all the wonderful memories. I cant move on. I hate to say goodbye. I just did last week and I force too. The feeling of loving someone so much when you are not with them anymore, hurts so much that you would want to cry and let it all out. Coz you know that someone is the only one that understand you.

:/

Staying at Vietnam for 5 days washed away all my misery. But, when I came back to Singapore, many awful things happened to me, to my life. I wished I could have this wish, to turn back time and spot my mistake. What I did wrong, why it happen, why must it always end up to be like this. Sometimes I feel, being asleep for the rest of your life is the best thing you can do than to be hurt a couple times. Or izzit me who hurt myself? Or the other person attitude hurts me? I kept thinking, what I did wrong and stuff like that. I really am confused about my feelings. To tell the truth, I didn't expect this to happen, seriously. I thought I could have my happy ending. But, its gone. Why can't I find my happiness? Coz when you fall in love so deep, there is no way to move on.

Crying is the best I can do to let it all out. But, thinking back. Its not worth it at all. Im just hurting myself. I know I gotta move on. But, its really hard. Im not how I use to be, Im weak, super weak. I can't move on coz I still regard you as my best boyfriend. I can't move on coz I miss you. I can't move on coz I can't forget all the things that we do. But somehow it seems to me that you don't care now. Coz, you already have her. You may forget what you told me. But, all the words that you said are all restored in my mind. Why can't you accept how people feel abt you? Why are you being so cold towards me? Have ever wonder about me? I dont know coz Im not you,  bodoh. But, here is one thing you should know ; Im not cheating on you. I thought being friends with him back will make me feel better coz being enemies with him will make me hurt myself more.

The things happened between us, I will always remember. Be it good or bad. I just wish things happen differently. Im not blaming you for all this shit. But, Im at fault too, not taking good care of you. But, its over now. I can't turn back time right? I gotta go my own way and you too the same. I hope you be happy with her. Dont let her go easily okayy. Lastlongg bestfriend. I wish you all the best in everything you do. Be good, takecaree. Oh and, this lyrics is for you.

 I gotta say what's on my mind

Somethingabout us, doesn't seem right these days

Life keeps getting in our way

Whenever we try, somehow the plan

Its always rearrange

Its so hard to say,

but I gotta do whats best for me

You'll be okay

I got to move on and be who I am

I just don't belong here,

I hope you understand

We might find our place in this world someday

But atleast for now,

I gotta go my own way

Don't wanna leave it all behind

But, I get my hopes up

& I watch them fall everytime

Another colour turns to grey

& its just to hard to watch it all

slowly fade away

Im leaving today coz I gotta do whats right for me

You'll be okay

I gotta go my own way.

xoxo,